I’m not afraid to claim that I may be the worst driver in the Universe. It’s not because of my poor driving abilities–I drive at or a little over the speed limit, follow proper procedures with road signs and adjust to adverse road conditions.
What makes me the worst is my attitude.
“Hey kid, we all have a little bit of road rage in us.”
[as NBC’s Chris Hansen] Yeah, why don’t you have a seat over there? [gestures at passenger seat]
(I will warn that extreme language lies ahead. Deal with it.)
How the hell hard is it for someone to stick with one lane? What the fuck good does it do for someone to stay in the passing lane when they’re only going the speed limit?
Why the fuck can’t you use your turn signals? Have you slashed the tendons in your wrist, or is a strain from self-pleasure inhibiting your abilities? How the shit am I supposed to know when or where you’re going to turn?
Why can’t you stay the fuck off of your phone? You can complete multiple tasks while in the middle of a conversation as your only task is speaking. If you can’t, put the fucker down and call the son of a bitch back when you’re not driving.
This sparks from me driving 45 mph all the way from Columbia City to Fort Wayne on U.S. 30 this afternoon…and the speed limit is 60 all the way through. That’s one hell of a way for Hoosiers to troll this Hoosier.
Do us all a favor – be more aggressive; don’t drive like a little girl.
This has been a Public Service Announcement from the Ad Council to serve dipshits like yourself.
Eleventy Billion dollars, Alex. 
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